Your judgement must be off
my darling
anyone wanting to
give their heart to me
clearly isn’t thinking straight.
I am a mess
of imperfections,
grace,
lack of trust.
For myself
and in others
My darling,
you don’t want to give
your heart to me.
I will use you in ways
you can’t imagine.
Hurt you in ways
you can’t imagine.
Your heart is beautiful.
I don’t want to tarnish it
by holding it with my grimy hands
leaving marks
you’re unable to remove
You deserve someone
who can give you more.
Someone who can fix your heart in ways
I never could.
Someone who can love you in ways
I never could.
I know you’re blinded with
emotions,
you think are attached to me
but I promise they will fade,
diminish.
You’ll find someone else
more beautiful
more graceful
more agreeable.
My darling
you’re not the problem.
I promise.
I have too many faults
you’d learn to love,
slowly learn to hate.
I don’t need to watch someone else
fall out of love with me again.
Worse than that
I will make you believe
you are ugly.
Made of nothing more
than a mass of skin and bones
a worthless soul.
You see I’ve done it to myself
I make myself feel broken,
so I don’t have to try and be whole
because I don’t have my life together.
I am not full of beauty
and grace.
Your judgement is off
that’s the only explanation.
Your soul wouldn’t survive a trip
through my hands,
I wreck everything I touch
maybe you haven’t noticed
the destruction I have left behind,
you deserve
better than that.
This poem was inspired by one of my friends who thinks she’s going to hurt everyone she talks to in the long run. I do identify with certain parts of it, however, this is very much an over exaggerated version of what one of her concerns is. I think the ideas behind it are something people can connect to, that idea of never being good enough for someone you feel deserves more, while also being scared of hurting that person with all of your own issues and insecurities. Personally, I really relate to that idea. I constantly switch between two moods, “I’m-amazing-and-you-should-love-me-forever.” and “There’s-no-way-I’m-good-enough-for-you.” Because of this I’m left in a weird limbo between the two and how that translates to interacting with others. I’m deeply afraid of bringing others down to my mood when I’m having a bad day. I don’t want to kill someone else’s mood just because mine’s not the best, because of that fear I’m convinced that I make others feel like less than themselves when they’re done talking with me. I’m slowly learning that this isn’t the case, but it’s taking some time so in the mean time I’ll just continue trying to be a good friend/ safe person for others.
Image: https://68.media.tumblr.com/dd1738ac1ecbdc944234009a8f780823/tumblr_o2d0v4ZJL21u0ccv7o1_500.gif
Dearest Tiana,
I really liked this, I haven’t read much poetry of yours, but now I really want to. There isn’t much I could criticize or tell you to improve upon other than maybe standardizing the stanzas, as in making them equal length or following some kind of structure. Although I do the same thing with my poems so if its stylistic keep it, and if its not, think about fixing it. I’m grasping at straws for any criticism. The good though, there is a lot if that. I loved the flow of your piece, one stanza led into another beautifully, without any choppiness or breaks.
I look forwards to reading more from you this year Tiana.
best regards Kaden
Thanks Kaden. I’m glad you liked the flow! -Tiana
Dear Tiana,
This is such a beautiful poem and I feel like it really puts so many peoples insecurities into words. I especially love the line,
“Someone who can fix your heart in ways
I never could.
Someone who can love you in ways
I never could.”
because it feels so real and so meaningful. I would just say that it would be beneficial to the clarity of your piece to keep the punctuation, as in the comma’s at the end of each stanza, consistent throughout the entire poem. Overall, this was a beautiful poem and so well written.
Love,
Katerina.
Thanks Kat! I’m happy you felt like I did a good job at putting it into words. I’ll keep my punctuation in mind thank you! -Tiana
**Dear Tiana,
I absolutely love your poem, it brings a side of you that I have never seen before. This little soul of yours speaks through you writing rater than just screaming out of your mouth. The flow was beautiful and you tell a story with in your writing that mesmerizes me. I want to read more of this please. Keep up the great work and I’m defiantly ecstatic for the second free choice.
Sincerely,
Matt
Thanks Matt!
Dear Tiana,
That was an amazing poem with such a real message. It had a great structure that I need to learn. By far favourite line is:
My darling
you’re not the problem.
I promise.
I have too many faults
you’d learn to love,
slowly learn to hate.
The only thing I would say you should work on is GUMPS.
Regards
Sam
Thanks Sam. I’m glad that you liked the structure. I’ll keep my GUMPS in mind! -Tiana
Dear Tiana,
I’m honestly so glad I got to read this. I think I actually needed this. Thank you! You have inspired to write about both the ‘good and ‘bad’ times. Your style is very unique; I love the “my darling” parts. It gives this piece a hint of sass, that I love. You are making wonderful work, keep it up! Can’t want to read more!
Love,
Shiksha T.
Thank you so much! I’m so happy that you connected and drew inspiration from this piece! – Tiana
Dear Tiana,
I loved reading every bit of this piece. This line you wrote in your paragraph after the poem:
“I’m deeply afraid of bringing others down to my mood when I’m having a bad day. I don’t want to kill someone else’s mood just because mine’s not the best….”
I love how your reading has to power to make others connect to it, in different ways. I am glad, as a reader, that I can connect to not only that line but other things from your poem on a personal level. Since I really loved the way this piece was written so beautifully and structured very nicely, there isn’t much I could say in terms of improvement. Maybe look out for punctuation; it could give some clarity to your writing. But overall, I really enjoyed this.
Love,
Malaika
Thank you so much! I’m glad that you connected to this. I will definitely keep punctuation in mind as I edit my writing (it’s not a strong suit of mine!) – Tiana