Author: tianaw870

Little Sister

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Dear little sister;

I hope this isn’t the end for your hope. I know right now you are not so happy, you’re holding onto this line of truth so hard your fingers might shatter, and your body give way to the merciless current below.

Little sister I know your dreams are broken. You were deceived by the line we call the horizon, tricked to believe the things we can’t calculate instead of the things we can. But in spite of the fragments of dreams I hope you still find something to embrace.

My dearest sister I wish for you the gift of knowing where your own knowing ends. That you will one day be able to marry your ideals with the truth. I wish for you the mercury sight to see your deepest desires through a fog the rest of us know as doubt. I wish you might one day blur the line between your wishes and reality, letting the two overlap and inspire each other to become one.

My little sister, I know people are scary. And I know some of them have big mouths and sharp teeth that could destroy you in minutes. But I also know how deeply you feel the need to be with them. I wish one day you will find the courage to walk up to them with flashing lighthouses and no more fear in your voice.

My sister I wish for you the things I can no longer wish for myself. A desire to stay undeceived. An ability to know where not to be and when. The gift of being able to gracefully accept not knowing the answer to a question. The blessing of having something to hold onto no matter how bad things get. The opportunity to see the oceans in the depth most can’t begin to comprehend. A thirst for knowing what is beyond our planets.

My little sister. I wish for you the final knowledge that no matter what you do or how far away you push me, I will always be here for you. I will always love you. And I know right now you might not believe me. Those people are scary. I know they haunt your dreams and hide in the shadows of your closet, but they won’t always be there. I won’t always have to wake you up when you’re screaming in the middle of the night, sitting with you till morning. Maybe we learn how to deal with our demons, or maybe they just get tired and leave, but I promise they will go away.

My amazing little sister. Please don’t lose the light in your eyes. Make new dreams. Find something to hold onto in order to keep safe from the rapids below.

Love,

Your sister

 

 

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/silhouette-city-skyline-night-stars-1211407/

Everything You Have Ever Wanted

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She’s sitting right across from you and she’s everything you have ever wanted.

She’s clever without being boastful.

She’s funny without being rude.

She’s charismatic without being pushy.

 

And boy she’s beautiful.

 

She’s everything you have ever wanted.

And she’s close enough for you to grab her and never let her go.

But instead you sit there and stare as she writes,

because she’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

And you can’t mess up the relationship you already have.

Being “Just friends” can’t be that bad.

 

But inside you are dying.

Caught between “What ifs” and your feelings.

What if she laughs at you and leaves?

What if she looks up and you with her clear blue eyes and says,

“This wouldn’t work, you know that.”?

What if she doesn’t hear you the first time

and you have to try and tell her again?

What if she doesn’t say anything at all?

What if she says yes?

 

But deep down you know you’ll never say anything.

You’ll never reach for her no matter how close she is.

The “What ifs” will win the battle and your feelings will stayed buried.

Why would she feel the same anyways?

 

She’s everything you have ever wanted,

And you’re stuck in a dream.

Some sort of twisted fantasy

where the boy gets the girl just like the movies.

But she sits and writes,

right across from you.

 

What if you kissed her, right now,

without any warning?

What if that only works in the movies?

What if you drop her off at home, only to come back

hours later with flowers and a stereo over your head?

She would like that right?

 

She’s everything you have ever wanted.

She’s loving without being clingy.

She’s trusting without being distant.

She’s courageous without being dangerous.

 

And boy she’s beautiful.

 

Maybe the “What ifs” won’t win,

And your feelings will see the light.

But maybe denial is easier than rejection.

And living in a pretend movie is better than reality.

 

She’s everything you have ever wanted.

And she’s within reach.

But if you aren’t careful, her illusion will shatter.

And you’ll be without your make-believe fairy tale.

 

She’s everything you have ever wanted.

Which must mean she’s too good to be true.

 

Picture: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/119697302575190408/

How Things Stand

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Emulated from “Next Time” R.M. Drake

“You were supposed to love me.”

she said to herself.

 

After weeks of fun,

laughter, and endless nights.

You were supposed to love her.

 

But you didn’t.

 

You skillfully slipped through the cracks

in her broken life

leaving behind no trace.

 

It’s not the first time

you’ve done this either.

Left when you were supposed to love.

 

She thought you changed.

So did you.

But some people never change.

The same way somethings just don’t.

 

That’s how things happen.

That’s how things are.

What’s one more girl

with a broken heart?

 

Image: http://www.gentside.com/tumblr/wallpaper

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She Was Beautiful

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She was beautiful,

Like stars in the sky.

Yes,

She was beautiful.

 

She was a product of self judgement

And media perspectives,

Manufactured each morning,

To destroy

The traits she’d rather not have.

 

She was beautiful.

Like flowers, fresh

And free.

But at the end of the day.

A flower is the most beautiful lie.  

 

The inspiration for this piece came from a quote writing journal activity activity that we did in class as a warm up one day. The original quote was by Arkaye Kierulr and her piece called “For Example a Flower”. I got inspiration in the lines, “For Example: A flower is the most beautiful lie.” In class we had been looking at spoken word poetry and had just listened to one that discussed media and body image. The ideas that were talked about really had hit home for me, but not in the way that I was going to be able to create something following a similar direction. However, when I got this quote, themes of a lie being presented through beauty was the first thing that went through my head.

I think that majority of our world is obsessed with looking being the person everyone looks at when they walk in the room. In reality, it’s not important like people think it should be, yet it has become a priority in most lives. People are becoming manufactured, we are becoming products of our environment, so that we make perfect versions of ourselves. Yet, the world has learned how to hide things from others splendidly well to the point that if we don’t like it we can just erase it. However, beauty like this is a lie, made to help people portray themselves in the best light possible. The only flaw with this is that humans are supposed to have flaws and quirks, and making them go away altogether goes against human nature and tends to set off a warning signal in others heads. Something seems wrong.

To me, people are set on looking like they have their lives together even when they don’t. This idea of manufactured people behind the looks and actions, though they might seem perfect, aren’t always as amazing as them seem, which is what I’m trying to get across in this poem.

 

Image: http://www.flowermeaning.com/narcissus-flower-meaning/

Dear…

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Dear Death:

I was going to tell you to leave me alone forever, but I know all that’s going to do is hurt your feelings. I was going to tell you to leave me and my loved ones alone till we are old and cynical, but I know all that’s going to do is mess with your tight schedule. I don’t want you around, I’m not going to lie and tell you I do. Me and life get along better when you aren’t close to us. Death, you have the power to cause havoc everywhere you go. I know you didn’t ask for it, you just got the short straw when names were being drawn, and tasks being assigned. Of course this doesn’t mean I forgive you for everything you have done to me and life. However, it means I understand you are constantly trying to ruin the friendship I have with life so there’s more room for you. Our connection is definitely there, and it always will be, but for now, I need a break. You’re hard to deal with most of the time, and I never seem happy when you hang around. I promise when you come to meet me, on the day I have been scheduled in, I will not turn you away or fight you. Instead I promise to welcome you and follow you wherever you intend to take me.

Love, Tiana

 

Dear Time:

You seem to slip through my life way too quickly. I’m sorry I don’t ever seem to appreciate you until you have moved on. I’m sorry I don’t notice you when I’m having fun, but when life gets boring, you become my favourite companion to pay attention to. But most of all, I’m sorry for how much I hate you sometimes. How you seem to eat away at the things I call mine, working closely with death to take away things and people in my life forever. You are the most beautiful destroyer, but you are also the most beautiful healer. Time, you help with my wounds, not in the magical-now-their-gone type of way. Instead, you help make them less prominent. You help me get over grief and grudges, simply by giving me your company and letting me work through it on my own, you will stay as long as I need you to. So yes, I might hate you sometimes, but I promise, you will always be important to me, even when me and life are having fun and I seem to forget about you, I promise I’ll always be checking on you every once and awhile.

Love, Tiana

 

Dear Life:

You and I are the best of friends. I was a forced relationship at first, I don’t know about you but I didn’t really have a say in if we were going to be friends or not. But look at us now. I’m grateful this relationship has blossomed to what it is today. Believe it or not, I have decided to forgive death and time for trying to poke holes in our friendship. I know it’s a hard thing for you to do, especially when they seem to take away many of your other close friends, I think you should try and forgive them too. I’m sorry for the times i told you I didn’t want to pursue this relationship any longer, it was selfish and I wasn’t considering how you would feel. I know you’ll forgive me, I’m just a little scared for the day you stop trying to keep this friendship alive and it fizzles out. You mean a lot to me, thank you for all of the memory’s you have helped me make and all the things you have helped me do, I will truly treasure them forever.

Love, Tiana

 

 

Image: http://favim.com/image/473905/